Sympathy is not everyone’s cup of tea.
When you are broken, a lot of you might be seeking solace and comfort through another’s shoulder. Trust, we know how it feels when the world feels like it has come to an end. How shattered it feels when emptiness eats us away from inside in darkness. This is a time where you crave for console and care and that is natural and human.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. But this is often perceived as sympathy by some of the strongest souls and that’s what made me start this post with. With sympathy, you grow dependency and reach a stage where you always need another person to help you out of despair.
There are a few individuals on this Earth who, even after being hit terribly and broken to pieces, still put them back into one piece. They take time and start again and move through the journey, this time way stronger than before. And, this they do all by themselves. If you can rebuild your life this way, you will be more resilient, stronger and way more stable for any situation to come by later in life. So, how to rebuild your life?
All you need to do is keep breathing. Do not give up even when you feel like you have hit the end. When you are blown hard where the earth seems to have slipped away underneath your feet and your back has already knocked the wall, remember that life forces are urging you to move ahead stead passing these challenges, because there is no way you can move an inch backward.
So, yes, after hitting the rock bottom, being smashed into tiny pieces, closing yourself in a dark room draped with curtains, laying on the floor with mess around, give yourself that strong push. One big push- to cross that threshold to be on the other side.
Here are some effective ways to rebuild your life.
1. Embrace the Feelings
We normally tend to deny the negative emotions and run away from them. If you are already deep inside a hole of darkness with all despair, embrace it. Realise and feel the emotions. How do you feel? Sad, tearful? If so, cry. Let tears gush down till it's empty. Let the emotions seep in and accept them. That’s the first step, instead of dodging them away.
2. See the Bigger Picture
Instead of constantly dwelling on the ruins, take a step back. Can you contemplate why this is happening to you? Well, it’s actually happening for you and not to you. The divine only throws you challenges which you can pass. So, not everyone is put through the same intensity of challenges. If you are put through, time to be proud of. Surely, this might sound so crazy, especially when you are ruined so hard. But, that’s the reality. The creator only puts those favourite few through such paths who are meant to grow so strong and stable. So, surely the next step is to start rebuilding, this time taller and stronger.
3. Think of the Worse Once
Now when your mind is already swayed with all negative thoughts, let's take you a little more ahead. Think what’s the worst that can happen. Will you lose your job? Okay, next what. You will lose your loved one. The worse end – you will lose your life? We all will someday, right? So, when something is already so imperative, what is it to fear about? Think about this in a calm mind and you will realise that all your fears have jumped away.
4. Give a Shoulder Off to Those Who are Meaningless
In your life, especially when you are on the path of spiritual enlightenment, you will find a number of people who mean nothing to you. They surround you with all sorts of negativity, judgement and assumption. They can make comments, spread rumours about you or ignore you. Keep this one thing in mind: they are acting like this because they are not grown, enlightened and awakened. They are not healed and hence they act this way because of their misfortunes. This has got nothing to do with you.
Develop a thick skin – do not take their words to heart or do not let their actions bother you. Do not react or criticise their actions. Instead, make yourself so strong and stable that these do not perturb you and that you realise and accept why they are doing it.
5. Connect to Only Who are Positive and Emotionally Stable
At this part of your life, you need to connect to only those who are very positive in their outlook and emotionally stable. If you want to be alone, be it. Spend time with yourself, but only in a constructive way. If you are getting dragged into negative habits of drinking, smoking and sleeping throughout the day with pills, get yourself some fruitful company. Connect to humanity to help you rebuild yourself.
6. Be Compassionate
Show compassion to every situation. Be it the unhealed and unstable people, or something which has gone wrong. Bring compassion to the table while you deal with every single thing. This will get you out of darkness in a magical way and bring you closer to the most meaningful people in your life. This will make the best people in your tribe want to reach out and help you for reasons and in ways even you won’t believe.
7. Treat yourself
If you have been hit and cheated, where is your fault? It has happened because it was a part of the bigger plan and got nothing to punish you. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Why don’t you give yourself a nice massage in a parlour or book some salon services for yourself? Plug in a few choicest movies, order some delicious food, turn on shady lights and enjoy your dessert. When you love and treat yourself in the best way, every single thing in this world turns in favour. It’s how you hold yourself up in the most challenging times.
8. Face it
Are there fears which trouble you to the core? Are you always terrified to face them and pray that nothing such happens? Well, you got to overcome them because if there is something you are so petrified of, it will crash you hard. So, identify all such points and jot them down in your journal. Now is the time to put yourself in the journey of healing, self-growth, rejuvenation, purging and renewal. So, target to heal each of such fears one by one.
9. Do it day by day with patience
Now, when you have realised where all you need to transform, handle it with care on every single day. Deal with the issues one by one with immense patience. Do not rush or force yourself. Handle yourself with care and take the growth in steps.
The true transformation isn’t overnight, but with small steps added over every single day. You will see yourself change phenomenally in no time.
Now, getting back to where we all started. Not everybody can handle such rebuilds by themselves and fall victims to sympathy. If you can do nothing like it. If you cannot, no worries. Your feelings are natural of a human being and a little bit of support will do the magic. Why don’t you check out some of the best mindfulness certification programs to start with?
Matrrix, for instance, has already earned a name for guiding and supporting individuals to rebuild their lives through different enlightening programs and mindfulness certification is one such. Coach Dr Paras, a mindfulness certified coach, spearheads some of the wonderful sessions where he supports you through his real-life experiences. You can also get to share your experiences on their platform and get featured for how you have been successful in rebuilding your life out of nothing.