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Self Discounting - Part 3

The only person who can empower you is "YOU" - Decide & Act upon it swiftly

Dr. Paras
Dr. Paras
Sep 22, 2016
Self Discounting - Part 3 by Dr. Paras

Let’s go back to the previous blog where we asked ourselves 5 important questions.

  • What were you thinking when you heard them say that to you?

  • How would you summarize your emotions at that point?

  • What did you tell yourself after the remark?

  • How long did it take for you to disregard the remark?

  • How intense did you feel?

Now, the answers to these would have given you a brief self-review. What is the point in Discounting a thought, a dream, your aspirations and your beliefs? Food for thought here.

Tara had slowly moved on to believing she needs to work. Find a job! She started to attend interviews hoping she will find a job and at least then, her family would take her seriously! The first woman in the family who ventured out to becoming a career woman. Naturally the family objected. How can we let you go to work? What would the elders in the family say? Social Animosity! A stigma that hold people back from achieving what they truly want! She heard her cousins giggle amongst themselves and overheard one of them say, “How is she going to going to hold on to job! I mean how she even going to perform with such bad academics she can’t even voice out an opinion!” This had become a sense of doubt in her mind! Will she be able to find herself a job? Will she able to answer questions? What if she makes a fool of herself and the cousins are proved right? What will she do?

Change doesn’t need to be very big, it can be just taking the First little Step.

Stop it Tara! Stop harping over your ill fate! Stop telling yourself you are not good enough! Pull your sock up and get a life! – A voice she heard one day! She looked around! Thought it could be someone from the family who finally saw that she had material in her! But no! The doorway was empty. None in sight! She heard a feeble voice again. Stop looking around Tara! Look within yourself. You know you are good. In-fact much better than the rest! Why are you doing this to yourself!

She started to ask herself, what do I do differently to feel good about myself? Should I read books? Oh, I saw that advertisement the other day about enhancing myself, should I approach them? She thought. She consulted her friend. She suggested life transformational coaching! Again, the inability to take a decision shut the idea of, but her friend dint give up! She gently coaxed her and encouraged her to attend workshops on confidence and body language. In a few months, Tara grew more serious about finding a job, and eventually found herself one! She grew into it and saw herself performing & overcame the feeling of being judged & she started to love & take care of herself! So she took up additional help to keep herself upbeat with the surroundings. Time came around for a promotion. She moved one step ahead in her life with a positive approach, Years passed and Tara found herself happily settled with her family and the happiest with her daughter.

Your Inner voice operates from intuition - If you Listen to it - It Transforms life.

“Mothers are usually the most significant, and consistent figures in our lives!” explains psychotherapist Dr Susie Orbach. As we grow up, we love to imitate our mothers. Our smiles, voices, gestures and tastes cannot help being molded by their influence. The similarities in the way we groom and present ourselves serve as visual testimonies to the closeness of this bond.

Tara realized as her daughter grew up that there was a lot of her own reflection in her. Though her family was extremely supportive and gave her all the freedom she needed, she always kept coming back to Tara for a word of encouragement. Tara found, that her daughter was slowly building a wall burying her true self. Again a case of discounting the inner-self and masking it with a sense of false prejudice. At no point did she want her daughter going through what she went through as child. Every time Tara felt her daughter needed that extra push, she gently encouraged her and told her to keep moving. Asked her to build trust on herself and her instincts. The confidence and the liberating feeling she once felt when she took control of her life! She wanted her daughter to feel exactly that. Tara, started to express herself freely to her daughter and told her how she was a kid and how much she hated herself then. Told her how she one day realized she needed to change and took control. Tara took a bold step yet again though it was for her daughter now!

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