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What you think you are v/s what you are - Part 2

The very first step to bring a change is to realize that YOU can.

Dr. Paras
Dr. Paras
Oct 01, 2016
Self Esteem

With so many ideas of Self Esteem, it is better that initially we understand the notion of Self Esteem without jumping to conclusions. As explained in the previous blog, Self Esteem is your inner voice that can either take you to heights or pull you down. 

People with low self esteem often perceive themselves in the negative light. This usually tears down their confidence and they feel constantly defeated against the world.

We all usually face some criticism all our lives. The criticism is actually mere judgement rolled by the world upon us. But some people have a problem getting over the criticism and eventually they get struck in the vicious trap of negative self image.

Handling criticism is not that difficult - it is mere judgement rolled by the world upon us.

Kishore was one of them and had a problem dealing with his inner self. He was caught in the Life Position of I’m not OK, You’re OK. It was very important for him to understand his self worth and value himself for his capabilities, talents and beauty. But Kishore was struck in a whirlpool of negative thoughts and it was difficult for him to confront people and discuss his problems.

Until one night; when Kishore was deeply moved with the thought of not getting the much deserved professional success. Kishore pondered over his life till date; and tried to figure out where actually in life he went wrong. His life appeared like a movie before him. It all seemed so real that he felt like reliving those moments. 

He could actually see every sad and happy incident of his life- his childhood, those beautiful college days and the joy of his first recruitment ever. He remembered how smart he was as a child and the world was seemingly so carefree and beautiful. He recalled himself as being a bright and happy student in school. But things changed as he grew up. 

Kishore was sensitive as a child and took all the things to his heart as he grew up. He was affected by every criticism coming his way. This eventually ripped down his confidence and instilled the belief of negative self image in his heart.

Drenched in the agony of his self-perceived failure, Kishore zoned out in a chaos of thoughts of how he could bring a change in his life. His thoughts took him to an imaginary world where he found himself much happier then he was now. 

He had a heart to heart talk with his happier self and finally opened out about all the problems he had with himself. His happier self then encountered him with his own world. A world that was free of all judgements and stereotypes- a world which was far more accepting than the real world. 

His happier self had a very simple message for him and that was “Believe in yourself” and you will live in this happy place forever. Kishore finally found the answer to his problems now.

To succeed, you need to have a commitment to yourself - a commitment to love yourself unconditionally and believe in your potential when no one else does.

Kishore startled from his thoughts and realized that the problem lies within and he himself has to take charge of the situation to bring a change in it.

The very first step to bring a change is to realize that YOU can.

Many of us go through this often in our life. We face small issues dealing with ourselves but we overlook those symptoms and wait until the small issues turn into a critical problem. People with low self esteem often have a problem realizing the cause of their problems or feel hopeless by entering a much negative zone.

Unlike Kishore, people with low self esteem should finally accept the fact that we can bring a change and move towards the solution.

There are absolute things you can do that will easily help you raise your self-esteem throughout the day. Many of these suggestions are very frank and simple to apply, while other suggestions might take slightly more time and effort. In no way, a miracle cure can work here. 

You will need to commit and devote yourself to accepting new habits, behaviors and ways of thinking as well as doing things in pursuance of reaping the rewards in the long-run.

Take care emotionally: Boosting your self-esteem starts with your emotional health. Your emotions are the groundwork to your prosperity and provide you with the strength you need to get through crucial moments of your life successfully. This requires you focus on developing your emotional confronting skills to prepare yourself for these crucial moments of your life.

Take credit of your achievements: This is a very plain idea; however it can have a deeply positive impact on boosting your levels of self-esteem. The moment you start taking credit for your achievements, a whole new world of prospects opens up for you. This has a tendency to enhance your capability to make decisions, and the improved decisions you make, the more confidence and self-belief you will gain.

Focus on Solutions: Whenever things don’t go as expected, immediately stimulate your solution-focused mindset. Identify the positives of the situation, and then look for ways which can make things better to improve your circumstances. Of course results might not always be immediately evident, however with a will to ask the right kinds of solution-focused questions, you will ultimately find the answers you are after.

Spend time gratifying yourself: Take time for yourself. Take time to recline, to play, and to pamper yourself. Maybe you could get a makeover, go to a spa, or enjoy a nice warm bath. Not only will it relax you, but it will also provide you with a chance to gain some aspects about your life’s choices, judgements and actions.

Creativity, Courage, and Passion: It is possible that the reason why you are going through low self-esteem is clearly because you are focusing on the wrong things. Maybe all you need is to take notice to your passions and your life’s ambitions. You simply need to look into your talents and strengths. Or just you need to focus on activities you are exceptional at and enjoy engaging in.

Set encouraging goals: To live with an ambition, you need to set motivating goals that keep you inspired and excited. As you work towards your ambition, keep track of your growth and thoughts within a diary. It will help you to work more effectively through any emotional challenges you might face along the way. Indeed, use it as a tool for self-advancement and self-consideration.

Make better choices: Improving your self-esteem necessarily comes down to making better choices all over the day. Instead of choosing to emphasize the negatives, choose to rather focus on the positives. Instead of amplifying your problems, choose rather look for solutions.

Though the process of building self esteem seems simple and easily achievable, it requires constant belief and perseverance towards the goals.

Just a few quickies to clarify the road map and help you move further

What kind of commitment do you want for moving ahead in life?

What resources do you have in yourself for moving ahead?

If you tend to flip back to your old habit, how do you plan to come back?

While you are asking yourself these questions, what is going through your mind right now?

Try to find answers to all the above questions and start working on it.

Remember, “Happiness is within you, you are the creator and the destructor too!”

Dr. Paras


Dr. Paras

ICF-certified (Master Certified Coach) and ESIA -Coach Supervisor Dr. Paras, and Co-Founder of Dr Paras Wellness Pvt. Ltd. with brand Matrrix has been focused towards initiating change and transformation in people. As a certified Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP) Master Practitioner and Mindfulness Coach, he brings a fresh approach towards learning the psychology of one’s thinking and behavior patterns. In his 18 years’ journey, he has trained, coached and mentored over 1.5 lakh individuals while certifying over 240 coaches. The leadership development programs of Matrrix have honed over hundreds of professionals while resolving workplace issues and ensuring higher ROI for firms.

Dr. Paras uses the power of coaching, counseling and positive psychology frameworks to resolve organizational issues, manage internal conflicts, and accelerate business growth. His programs for professional certifications in NLP, Mindfulness, Counseling, Coaching, and more have solidified his name as a transformation coach. Dr. Paras is also the founder of the Iinner Universe Education Foundation that runs Tava-Mitram (not-for-profit) to improve emotional wellness. He is also an avid blogger and social media enthusiast who loves keeping in touch with his international audience.

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